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Competing and Comparing


What is it about our society? That we set ourselves up for constant failure by competing and comparing ourselves to everyone and everything around us. We did it as children, waiting to be picked for the dodge ball game in gym class, or whether we were going to be invited to “the” birthday party and if we weren’t picked or invited…then what? We felt sadness, pain, ashamed, worthlessness, possibly. And sadly that pain stays with us. That feeling of being “left out” grows within us and as we become adults and have children of our own we begin to project these feelings onto them. We compare ourselves to all the other Mom’s. If you are a working Mom you compare yourself to the stay at home Mom’s, stay at home Mom’s at times wish they could be working outside the home, judging each other so as to justify the pain that you feel inside. The same feelings of sadness, worthlessness, wishing you could do better, be better etc. Criticizing ourselves for not being a better Mom, a better cook, wife, house cleaner. And then we go a step farther and compare our kids to all the other kids out there. Are they “good enough” to be on the team? Are they “good enough” to be successful in school. Are we signing them up for the right classes so they will “succeed.” And who’s definition of “success” are we defining our children by? Ours? Societies? Our parents? And what are we projecting onto our children? If you don’t make the team we are disappointed or somehow you aren’t good enough? If you don’t make certain grades we are ashamed? Are we then not teaching our kids that their self worth is attached to ACCOMPLISHMENTS? WOW! And as these accomplishments fade, then what? Who are we then? Without our job titles, financial status, community status. Who are our children without their list of accomplishments? Without the awards, the grades, the sports stories to tell. What happens then?

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