Stepping Into Your Power!
Stepping into your power means that you recognize and accept that you are complete within yourself, without the need for any particular thing, person, circumstance, or outcome. You give up the illusion that anything outside of yourself gives you happiness, control or power.
There are many ways we give our power away through out our day. The more awareness we gain around this concept the more we can change it. You see, when we give our power over to someone else (unknowingly) we feel helpless, out of control, like someone else is responsible for our choices, decisions and livelihood. This is being a VICTIM. For some, they live in this archetype most of the time. Looking to others to help us, to "fix things" in our life, not knowing we have the power within us to create our own reality. For others, we are the "fixers" the helpers, the doers. We are RESCUERS! Our self worth comes from helping others to fix their problems. And we live in this archetype most of our lives. But let's not forget the PERSECUTORS! A Persecutor is someone who wants to dominate, control, win, be right, get their own way, intimidate, get one up and always put their needs before yours. This is what is called the Karpman's Drama Triangle. And we all have been in each position in or lives, for sure, but one of these positions is where we tend to settle, especially during times of stress. The triangle is merely a way that people relate to one another in different situations.
SETTING BOUNDARIES
SO... how do we shift this? We move to the CENTER!
Move to the center. ...
Refuse to accept your opponent's force. ...
Refuse to be Superior or Inferior All of these roles requires one person to be superior, right, good, and better than the other person, while the other person has to be inferior, wrong, bad and worse. ...
Stop The Poor Me Game.
The easiest way to do this is BOUNDARY SETTING. So many of us, like myself, did not grow up with boundaries. So let's define boundaries.
What I will and will not accept! Yep! That's it!
Here are 5 basic rights we have and should be memorized in my opinion. This is helpful in setting boundaries.
I have a right to say no without feeling guilty. No is a complete sentence!
I have a right to be treated with respect and to walk away when it is no longer being served.
I have a right to make my needs as important as others. Prioritizing myself is loving myself.
I have a right to be accepting of my mistakes and failures. Accept responsibility for all choices - good and bad and learn from them and move forward. No shaming and blaming!
I have a right to NOT meet others (& my own) unreasonable expectations of me.
Once we understand our basic rights we can then move into making a list of our "Values." These are the ideals we live by. Go ahead and print off a list of values. As there are literally hundreds of words that describe values. And values can change as we get older. This list should be studies and journaled around. Really tap into your feelings around your core values. This is how we move forward in understanding when we are out of balance in our lives. If we are no longer living our core values we need to step back and ask ourselves "where are we?" Are we still in alignment with our values? Are we clear in our boundary setting? Has someone crossed a line and now we are playing victim? Or are we rescuing to the point of exhaustion? Or are we blaming someone in our life or how we feel? Persecuting? These are all things to journal and process, as this is what allows us to move through this negative energy and shift us to the "center" of the drama triangle....
For only when we step into our own power do we have the power to change our circumstances. Each of us have but one life to live. Who's life are you living?
